Since I was cursed with Japanese rice paper skin, lubing up my outer layers is a must. For years I tried cream after cream after cream, and then I got really lazy and said fuck it. That’s when I discovered oil.
I know, I know. Oil kind of brings images of pizza face pubescence or soggy french fries, but I swear once you’ve tried the right products, the only kind of cream you’ll need is motion-lotion.
Here are some of the products that I love and keep on hand regularly:
Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse is the perfect alternative for every day full-body moisturizing. Spritz this on after your shower and smooth over the entire body. Its also great to spray some into the palm of your hand and run through your hair to smooth frizzies.
Kérastase Elixir Ultime is a must have as a protective agaisnt split ends and frizzies. Take a few small pumps into the palm of your hand and rub into damp hair just before blowdrying or even on dry hair for a smooth, shining effect.
Essie Apricot Cuticle Oil is a quick fix to any nasty or dry looking cuticles on hands and feet. Just run the brush over the cuticle line and leave it to soak into the skin for instant softening and healthy nails.
For serious hydration, pick up a tub of Lush’s Ro’s Argan Body Conditioner. While in the shower, apply to the entire body and let it sit for a few minutes before rinsing. This eliminates the need for any sort of moisturizer once you’ve finished your bath time. Also, its got that Moroccan argan oil everyone is yapping about, so it must be good. Note: It has a strong rose scent, so if you’re not into that, definitely do not get this.
Lastly, if you’re on a budget and need a more DIY approach to de-crusting, your absolute number one best friend should be olive oil. Living in the Middle East allows for a surplus of olive oil, often locally sourced from Lebanon, Jordan, etc., so your beauty rituals help out local farmers and the economy as well. Its universal uses include: a drop massaged into chapped lips, a body scrub when mixed with sugar, and as a treatment for hair when massaged into the scalp and through strands and left to soak. (If you live in or are visiting Morocco, try out the locally sourced argan oil that is all the rage.)
Are you guys ready to get greasy?
Having a baby is rough, like rougher than that one time in college you got so drunk you passed out in a hallway at a stranger’s house and woke up with dried barf on yourself rough. Imagine that. Imagine squeezing a watermelon out of a lemon-sized opening, then let’s talk.
I’m not one for frivolity when I need to Get.Shit.Done. and makeup usually doesn’t make the cut for heavy duty activities, but I’ve got some reasoning behind my bringing makeup into the maternity ward. (Not that I plan on being a glamour puss the moment she pops out of my womb).
Pictures, people! Yes, indeed. The first photographs of mother and babe happen right there at the hospital. Family and visitors want to come and coo over your new bundle and congratulate you while blasting your face area with everlasting evidence of the auspicious occasion. And let’s just say I don’t do hi-def unless I’ve got some warpaint ready. Call me vain, but I just want to... more
How fast does time fly when I’m reading a stinking urine-soaked plastic device that tells me I’ve got one in the oven to 7 weeks till blast off?? I don’t know and it’s scary as fuck and confusing as fuck and people are freaking me out because they keep asking who’s coming to help us when she’s born. Resounding answer: NO ONE REALLY.
I can’t be worrying about that, I need to get back to losing sleep over whether the pink curtains I’m putting in her room are going to infect her tiny mound of mush brain with some archaic, color-coded sexist philosophy my gender has worked so hard to overcome. And moisturizing my nipples adequately.
But I digress…
1) I leak pee on myself. Like on the reg. Please give a nobel prize to person who invented panty liners…
2) M... more
I’m SO happy to report that almost all of the misery of the first trimester has finally fallen behind me. My energy is back and with no nausea, I’m feeling myself again….just pregnant-er.
It’s a girl! She’s really teeny and moves a lot and likes to kick me which I hope is not a sign that she’s going to be a huge asshole baby- I can say that, it’s my kid. Though she’s really small now- she’s only going to get bigger, which means a bigger belly. Which means lots ‘o’ stretching! If you find yourself with a bun in the oven now or in the future, here are some top tips to help your skin not give you the fat middle finger:
This is probably the best thing you can put on your skin during pregnancy, it’s emollient nature make for high potency penetration into the skin while protecting i... more
Being pregnant is fucking hard for a lot women. Whether it’s the physical changes your body endures daily or the mental and emotional hurdles that will blindside you at the drop of a hat, this is a crucial time when life can seem surreal at best. Here’s a quick list of my physical and mental symptoms I’ve experienced so far:-nausea accompanied by vomiting and heightened gag reflex -heightened sense of smell making everything smell like a dead donkey butthole -dizziness and faintness when moving or standing at a normal pace -fatigue that induces at least 2 death naps per day -itchy, dry raisin skin -shortness of breath when doing the most basic of tasks (i.e. walking normally) -memory loss -congestion during sleep coupled with daily morning nasal draining which causes more nausea (snot on an empty stomach= YUM) -constipation (what I wouldn’t do to take a shit right now, it’s been three days so far) -constant feeling of dehydration despite chugging ... more
As evident by the title, there is human life stirring within my bowels. Imagine that. Now try and sleep.
In all seriousness (sort of), I’m officially 14 weeks and two days pregnant and just into my second trimester. Pregnancy is split into trimesters, with a full-term pregnancy at 40 weeks. The first trimester is often the most difficult, not to mention the most uncertain time of pregnancy….and how it has been difficult!
Dear readers, I have essentially been horizontal for two months because being pregnant isn’t all about glowing and eating and being happy. No. Not for everyone. For the unlucky bastards such as myself, every day is a living hell filled with vomiting, constipation, nasal congestion, cramping, fatigue, weakness, dizziness, headaches, constant need to sleep, among other fun facts that I’m too polite to mention here just yet.
While I am FINALLY starting to feel better and get some relief, it’s been a long road. I&rsqu... more
First up is from Emma Pickles- one of the best people on YouTube for making easy-to-follow dramatic costume makeup tutorials. This Pop Art/Comic Book look is by far my favorite:
Next up is an adorable costume idea from Hannah at Xovain.com that also brings me back to childhood so much- a Betty Boop tutorial that is also super easy!
The beauty of this tutorial is that you can probably use the makeup you already have, so there’s no need to go out about buy a bunch of makeup you would only use the once for Halloween.
Lastly, what would a Halloween be without the classic “sexy vampire” look. While I don’t find this as fun as some of the other looks... more