For the past three years that I’ve been living in Beirut “small” incidents have randomly happened on the borders of this country. During my first week there were some rockets exchanged between a village in the south and the Israeli army. I was completely fresh and didn’t know if I was supposed to freak out or not, but my local friends assured me that this was somehow “normal” and life went on as usual.
Lately there has been fighting in the North, something that hasn’t really affected my life all that much, and I’ve been sending comforting messages to my family trying to explain that I am in no danger by any means.
The closest I have ever been to something really horrible was in Oslo last summer when a car bomb aimed at one of the government buildings killed eight people. I had passed the site of the bomb only 20 minutes before it blew up, and was chilling out on my bed when the bottles that used to hold the curtains down in my bedroom window got tossed into the room. Then 69 kids were murdered on an island summer camp outside of Oslo.
In Norway this was the worst case scenario. The damage was what horrified us. When the bomb went off in Beirut last Friday the feeling was very different. It was horrible here too, super horrible, but far from a worst case scenario. People here fear that this is a beginning, not an end as it was in Norway.
The first few days were very quiet, and not many people chose to go out at night. Most of the people to be seen on the streets gathering on the pavements outside of the bars were foreigners. What else would we do? Sit at home alone? We who don’t have families here needed to hang out together.
However, I’m glad to see things a little more stable now, and hope it will continue like that. I don’t want to see this country go to shit.
Is Iceland the REAL threat to Europe?
We’re obsessed with putting our eyes on islamofacists, islafists, salafists, and, well, you know, just muslims, but is this where the real threat is coming from?
Everybody: PANIC!Just a few weeks ago our national security was at risk, as someone thought that someone potentially dangerous might be coming from Syria to Turkey to Norway! It could have been a dangerous scenario if the politicians hadn’t acted so fast and created a state of emergency, making sure that as much panic as possible spread across this Glorious Kingdom. Bold headlines like “How is your municipality protecting YOU!?!” covered the front pages of local newspapers in the most remote villages, while untrained terror police with weapons designed for war marched the streets of our largest cities. It was a great circus, where tons of “suspicious” muslims got ratte... more
Being down with the kids
When the 2famous.TV crew rolled up in our red Mercedes at this beautiful island in the south of Norway, we pretty much felt like stars. I mean, festivals are usually the place where we can show (and prove to ourselves) that we still got it; that we’re still down with the kids, despite the fact that most of our crew is twice the age of the average population at this festival.
Sure, with age comes wisdom, so we decided not to pin our tent in the middle of the youth camp, where wasted kids give out free hugs, kisses, and whatever to whomever crosses their path, before they collapse in or on the nearest tent that looks vaguely familiar. When they wake up in the afternoon they repeat the previous days’ pattern with impressive precision.
At Hove everybody gets wasted from the moment they wake up, and since no one remembers who they bonded with the previous day, the winning strategy seems to be down with everyone ... more
– No work visa required
If you live in a shithole, you should come to Norway and join the shitfest!
There is a loophole in the strict Norwegian job market, and that loophole can be found right between a grizzlys genitals and it’s tale (also known as its butthole).
Thanks to the low population and the large oil reserves Norway may be the richest country in the world, but if you’re not from Europe and want to earn some of those oil-backed crowns, you either need to have some crazy skills that makes you exceptional on the job market, or you need to go to the forest and put your hands in lukewarm excrements.
Despite the shitty weather a ton of southern europeans come to Norway every year to pick strawberries in the fields or to beg on the streets, but it seems like they might not be informed about the goldmine coming out of the king of the forrest’s asshole: the Norwegian government will pay ... more
– a roundup of week 38
Not only did the Britons establish contact with aliens from outer space, or at least sample some of their DNA, and scientists from Lebanon finally found a cure for cancer, or at least for a certain kind of Leukemia, maybe, but it also turned out that global warming was just another scam from the Left! It turned out that the climate changes we are experiencing are just part of a natural cycle, though the communist minded anti-capitalist liberals are more
Here I sit overlooking the rooftops of Oslo while it’s pouring down from the gray sky. It’s that time of the year where all you want to do is to sit inside and drink red wine while being melancholic. I daydream about Lebanon, though Beirut somehow feels like an oriental dream in the distance. It’s so different from where I am right now. It’s almost surreal. But I guess that’s why I fell in love with Lebanon in the first place, and that’s what kept me there for four years. You’re never alone in Beirut. You’re never bored in Beirut, and there’s always a new surprise waiting for you around every corner. While Norway is slow, stable and boring, Lebanon is fast, unpredictable and interesting. And there is always a new party.One of the things Lebanon is so famous for is their parties, and even if “nothing’s going on” in Lebanon,... more
It’s election on Monday, and no one is talking about how much the “Peace Nation” Norway sucks for everyone that’s not in Norway.
I wish I could have talked about something that had something to do with the real world, but I have been living in an isolated bubble for the past week. It’s not my lack of access to the internet that has cut me off, nor is it that I’ve been occupied with setting up the 2famous.TV HQ in Oslo with Knut and Liza. True, I’ve been stressing around decorating my new room so that it will look decent till my woman arrives in 16 days (and 13 hours), but that’s not what’s kept my eyes off the world either.
To tell you the truth, I have been engulfed with senseless political propaganda and nifty slogans such as “For a better future”, “For the People” and “Vote for New Ideas”, in some kind of delusional Orwell-ish reality. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, this was the last week before the grand election in Norway, which overshadows everything in this country. No one here even knows that Obama went to Sweden on his wa... more