I’m a climate refugee. I come from a country where the people identify with the North Pole. I’m not kidding. As a legit Norwegian, I can namedrop a whole list of fellow brethren that have crossed the pole in numerous ways; I simply know how it is up there. Still, I’m not so much into that shit. It’s just…too cold! That’s why I moved to the Middle East. It’s warmer here. I like that, but it comes with certain difficulties.
OK, first of all: I’m white as a sheet. I’m bald, and my pigmentation seems to cluster up in small dots scattered over my arms. Whenever I leave the house I need to bring a hat and if I don’t cover every square inch of exposed skin with SPF 50+ I will turn pink -> red -> purple (in that order), and people will go, like, “OMG! You’ve got cancer!” which is incredibly annoying.
Well, to tell the truth, even the kids in Norway used to make fun of my whiteness which made me hate all the summer tan-talk even more. I was the “snow man” that could be used as a reflector for the sun, and when night fell I was the “pink light bulb” that people could fry their bacon on. Very funny… really. I mean it. That’s super hilarious.
But I still preferred summers to winters, and I thought that if I just moved to a warmer place I would be able to enjoy the comforts of summer without being discriminated against. Because there, I thought, they would just think of me as “The North Pole man” and think that it was normal to be like me where I’m from. That worked out perfectly well until Matias came into the picture and ruined everything. He lives even closer to the North Pole than I do, but he tans like a gypsy. When he arrived I went from being “The North Pole man” to being “The White North Pole man”. Thanks bro! That was my price tag for our friendship. Just to let you know… no hard feelings, really. Love you bro. Peace.
Anyway, I still fucking love the beach as long as I can sit in the shade and read a book, and Lebanon has some really nice spots to offer. This summer I also expect there to be tons of beach parties, and I’ll try to cover as many of them as possible here on 2famous.TV ~ so just keep the invitations coming. I’m ready 😉
Is Iceland the REAL threat to Europe?
We’re obsessed with putting our eyes on islamofacists, islafists, salafists, and, well, you know, just muslims, but is this where the real threat is coming from?
Everybody: PANIC!Just a few weeks ago our national security was at risk, as someone thought that someone potential... [more]
Being down with the kids
When the 2famous.TV crew rolled up in our red Mercedes at this beautiful island in the south of Norway, we pretty much felt like stars. I mean, festivals are usually the place where we can show (and prove to ourselves) that we still got it; that we’re still down with the kids, despite the fact that most of our crew is twice the age of the average populat... [more]
– No work visa required
If you live in a shithole, you should come to Norway and join the shitfest!
There is a loophole in the strict Norwegian job market, and that loophole can be found right between a grizzlys genitals and it’s tale (also known as its butthole).
Thanks to the low population and the large oil reserves Norway may be the richest country in the world, but if you’re not from... [more]
Here I sit overlooking the rooftops of Oslo while it’s pouring down from the gray sky. It’s that time of the year where all you want to do is to sit inside and drink red wine while being melancholic. I daydream about Lebanon, though Beirut somehow feels like an oriental dream in the distance. It’s so different from where I am right now. It’s almost surreal. But I guess ... [more]
It’s election on Monday, and no one is talking about how much the “Peace Nation” Norway sucks for everyone that’s not in Norway.
I wish I could have talked about something that had something to do with the real world, but I have been living in an isolated bubble for the past week. It’s not my lack of access to the internet that has cut me off, nor is it that I’ve been occupied with setting up the 2famous.TV HQ in Oslo with Knut and Liza. True, I’ve been stressing around decorating my new room so that i... [more]