OMFG where do I even start? Probably with the title, that makes sense, but who cares about logic?
To begin with, I said ma’a salama to the U.A.E. this past June and am settled in Connecticut. In case you don’t know what/where that is, it’s a tiny state in the U.S. right next to New York where lots of rich people live and wear fugly, puffy mountain climbing clothes in the winter because it’s colder than a witch’s titty. But you know, you can’t win ’em all.
Like our beloved Jorgo, while I’ve left the Middle East, this is not a goodbye. It’s hello from a new IP address! So enough about me and let’s get on with the show.
The divinity that is fashion designer Marc Jacobs has recently launched a 122-piece makeup collection this August. The sleek packaging (inspired by a lacquered coffee table in Marc’s home) encases bold, rich hues deeply pigmented with enough shimmer to make the most hardcore Studio 54 coke-head jealous. Marc says neutrals are “lazy.” Yes, only lazy people wear neutrals. BORRR-ING!
While all the products gave me a definite shopping boner, I’ve come to the realization I have too much fucking makeup- plus that shit is hella expensive. Alas, I had to choose ONE thing. So I did some research before buying, as any good little consumer whore should!
Firstly, Marc is a dude- a fabulous skirt wearing dude I’ll say, but a dude none the less- which puts him at a position where he won’t be wearing most of his products with the exception of one in particular that he’s mentioned before: eyebrow gel. If I’m going to buy something from someone, especially something with a hefty price tag, I feel more secure in the thought that the person selling it to me uses it themselves.
While my time in the Middle East has taught me that the women living there are fucking serious about their brows whether they prefer pencil thin, tattooed on, or perfectly threaded into an arching uni-brow (yes, this is a thing.), I’ll always prefer mine 80’s porno style. Nice and thick, textured, bold. I want my eyebrows to give people the double take, but like in a good way a la Cara Delevingne. Not the kind where someone double takes and says “what the fuck am I looking at?!”
I also can’t fill in my brows a lot with powder or pencil because my pasty complexion and light hair are totally unforgiving, so a clear gel gives me the texture and “volume” I need while holding them in place all day. Nobody wants those crazy old man eyebrows where they seem to be growing in random directions like an ivy trellis of pube-like hair over their forehead. This thought makes me sad.
The soft, fuzzy applicator brushes clear gel through the brows evenly and sparingly for a groomed, yet natural and soft look. No flakes, no rigid hold. It lasts all day and is basically a miracle in a bottle if you just can’t seem to get your eyebrows to stay in place or have thick ones like me.
For a cheaper solution, many pharmacy brands like Maybelline and Revlon make clear and tinted eyebrow gels that are pretty decent, too. You could also take an empty (and clean!) mascara tube and fill it with a soft hold hair gel for a refillable version. If you really want to go “all natural” and DIY, you could also use the empty mascara tube filled with aloe vera. You could also spit on your fingers and brush it through periodically during the day, but I can’t say I fully endorse this last one…
Whether you’re in the market for some brow gel, are a makeup addict, or just want to try a disco slut look out, I completely recommend checking out the new Marc Jacobs line. It’s available at Sephora and at certain Marc Jacobs boutiques, though I’m not entirely clear if it’s available at the Middle East locations just yet. If you can’t wait for it, there are some eBayers hawking some of the line in their shops that I’m sure would ship to you for the right price!
Having a baby is rough, like rougher than that one time in college you got so drunk you passed out in a hallway at a stranger’s house and woke up with dried barf on yourself rough. Imagine that. Imagine squeezing a watermelon out of a lemon-sized opening, then let’s talk.
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I’m SO happy to report that almost all of the misery of the first trimester has finally fallen behind me. My energy is back and with no nausea, I’m feeling myself again….just pregnant-er.
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Being pregnant is fucking hard for a lot women. Whether it’s the physical changes your body endures daily or the mental and emotional hurdles that will blindside you at the drop of a hat, this is a crucial time when life can seem surreal at best. Here’s a quick list of my physical and mental symptoms I’ve experienced so far:-nausea accompanied by vomiting and heightened ... [more]
As evident by the title, there is human life stirring within my bowels. Imagine that. Now try and sleep.
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First up is from Emma Pickles- one of the best people on YouTube for making easy-to-follow dramatic costume makeup tutorials. This Pop Art/Comic Book look is by far my favorite:
Next up is an adorable costume idea from Hannah at Xovain.com that also brings me back to childhood so much- a Betty Boop tutorial that is also super easy!