Having a baby is rough, like rougher than that one time in college you got so drunk you passed out in a hallway at a stranger’s house and woke up with dried barf on yourself rough. Imagine that. Imagine squeezing a watermelon out of a lemon-sized opening, then let’s talk.
I’m not one for frivolity when I need to Get.Shit.Done. and makeup usually doesn’t make the cut for heavy duty activities, but I’ve got some reasoning behind my bringing makeup into the maternity ward. (Not that I plan on being a glamour puss the moment she pops out of my womb).
Pictures, people! Yes, indeed. The first photographs of mother and babe happen right there at the hospital. Family and visitors want to come and coo over your new bundle and congratulate you while blasting your face area with everlasting evidence of the auspicious occasion. And let’s just say I don’t do hi-def unless I’ve got some warpaint ready. Call me vain, but I just want to look fresh on the big day, not that anyone will be giving two shits what I look like- there’ll be a freaking baby there. Babies usually steal the show.
Since packing a hospital bag ahead of time is to ensure that you’re not running around in labor packing at the last minute, I thought I would troll the drugstore for some nice scores of makeup that would replace what I might normally use. Something simple, easy, and finger application-friendly. What I found was so orgasmically amazing!
Mascara: L’Oreal Miss Manga Mascara in Black/Brown. I bought this color on accident, but ended up liking the more natural look it gave versus a harsh jet black since my eyelashes are light. Of course, if yours are dark go for the pure black.
Blush: NYX Rouge Cream Blush in Boho Chic. This is an amazing cream blusher and super affordable. It comes in several shades that work for a variety of skin tones as well as being easily applied with just fingers- no tools required!
Lip: Revlon Colorstay Moisture Stain in Shanghai Sizzle. This is a drugstore take on the uber expensive YSL lip stains. With an amazing range of shades, the texture is great, it has fantastic lasting power, and definitely a great product considering it’s affordability. It will go on vibrantly and will settle down to a sheerer version as you wear it.
These four products take all of >5 minutes to apply. You are fresh looking, definitely not overdone, in a matter of minutes!
How fast does time fly when I’m reading a stinking urine-soaked plastic device that tells me I’ve got one in the oven to 7 weeks till blast off?? I don’t know and it’s scary as fuck and confusing as fuck and people are freaking me out because they keep asking who’s coming to help us when she’s born. Resounding answer: NO ONE REALLY.
I can’t be w... [more]
I’m SO happy to report that almost all of the misery of the first trimester has finally fallen behind me. My energy is back and with no nausea, I’m feeling myself again….just pregnant-er.
It’s a girl! She’s really teeny and moves a lot and likes to kick me which I hope is not a sign that she’s going to be a huge asshole baby- I can say that, it&rsquo... [more]
Being pregnant is fucking hard for a lot women. Whether it’s the physical changes your body endures daily or the mental and emotional hurdles that will blindside you at the drop of a hat, this is a crucial time when life can seem surreal at best. Here’s a quick list of my physical and mental symptoms I’ve experienced so far:-nausea accompanied by vomiting and heightened ... [more]
As evident by the title, there is human life stirring within my bowels. Imagine that. Now try and sleep.
In all seriousness (sort of), I’m officially 14 weeks and two days pregnant and just into my second trimester. Pregnancy is split into trimesters, with a full-term pregnancy at 40 weeks. The first trimester is often the most difficult, not to mention the most uncertain time of ... [more]
First up is from Emma Pickles- one of the best people on YouTube for making easy-to-follow dramatic costume makeup tutorials. This Pop Art/Comic Book look is by far my favorite:
Next up is an adorable costume idea from Hannah at Xovain.com that also brings me back to childhood so much- a Betty Boop tutorial that is also super easy!
Laaaaadies! In the all important realm of being a female and femaleness, finally comes the handbook on all things amazing and essential and femme power related. “The Book of Jezebel: An Illustrated Encyclopedia of Lady Things,” is now available for [more]