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Jorgen Says
Still got it: Being famous at HOVE

Being down with the kids

When the 2famous.TV crew rolled up in our red Mercedes at this beautiful island in the south of Norway, we pretty much felt like stars. I mean, festivals are usually the place where we can show (and prove to ourselves) that we still got it; that we’re still down with the kids, despite the fact that most of our crew is twice the age of the average population at this festival.

Sure, with age comes wisdom, so we decided not to pin our tent in the middle of the youth camp, where wasted kids give out free hugs, kisses, and whatever to whomever crosses their path, before they collapse in or on the nearest tent that looks vaguely familiar. When they wake up in the afternoon they repeat the previous days’ pattern with impressive precision.

At Hove everybody gets wasted from the moment they wake up, and since no one remembers who they bonded with the previous day, the winning strategy seems to be down with everyone ... [more]

By Jorgen Evil Ekvoll
We found Aliens, a cure for cancer and world peace!

– a roundup of week 38

Not only did the Britons establish contact with aliens from outer space, or at least sample some of their DNA, and scientists from Lebanon finally found a cure for cancer, or at least for a certain kind of Leukemia, maybe, but it also turned out that global warming was just another scam from the Left! It turned out that the climate changes we are experiencing are just part of a natural cycle, though the communist minded anti-capitalist liberals are [more]

By Jorgen Evil Ekvoll
Beirut, Summer 2013 All the Parties Weekly roundup # 4

Here I sit overlooking the rooftops of Oslo while it’s pouring down from the gray sky. It’s that time of the year where all you want to do is to sit inside and drink red wine while being melancholic. I daydream about Lebanon, though Beirut somehow feels like an oriental dream in the distance. It’s so different from where I am right now. It’s almost surreal. But I guess that’s why I fell in love with Lebanon in the first place, and that’s what kept me there for four years. You’re never alone in Beirut. You’re never bored in Beirut, and there’s always a new surprise waiting for you around every corner. While Norway is slow, stable and boring, Lebanon is fast, unpredictable and interesting. And there is always a new party.

One of the things Lebanon is so famous for is their parties, and even if “nothing’s going on” in Lebanon,... [more]
By Jorgen Evil Ekvoll
Weekly roundup # 3 Non-topics of Norwegian politics

It’s election on Monday, and no one is talking about how much the “Peace Nation” Norway sucks for everyone that’s not in Norway.

I wish I could have talked about something that had something to do with the real world, but I have been living in an isolated bubble for the past week. It’s not my lack of access to the internet that has cut me off, nor is it that I’ve been occupied with setting up the 2famous.TV HQ in Oslo with Knut and Liza. True, I’ve been stressing around decorating my new room so that it will look decent till my woman arrives in 16 days (and 13 hours), but that’s not what’s kept my eyes off the world either.

To tell you the truth, I have been engulfed with senseless political propaganda and nifty slogans such as “For a better future”, “For the People” and “Vote for New Ideas”, in some kind of delusional Orwell-ish reality. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, this was the last week before the grand election in Norway, which overshadows everything in this country. No one here even knows that Obama went to Sweden on his wa... [more]

By Jorgen Evil Ekvoll
Weekly Roundup #2 SYRIA

– everybody wants a piece of it.

I wish I was ignorant and lived in an isolated Norway. If so I would chose between headlines such as Man over trimmed bushes next to highway, Man arrested for having exposed his genitals in front of a bar or Boy filled his room with Lego! when I was doing my weekly roundup. (Those are actual headline from Norway in the past week). But I can’t! I have to get my fingers a little sticky and dig into the real gore. I mean, it feels like there is a comet hanging over our heads that’s been turning the whole world crazy the past week, so I’m going to talk about that.

The Roundup

• On Monday both France and the U... [more]

By Jorgen Evil Ekvoll
Legally illegal in Lebanon This is how to do it

– getting your way around the visa problem

OMG, I just caught myself singing, Wooo hooo, I’m an alien, I’m a legal alien, I’m a Norwegian in Beiruuuuut, which makes me completely embarrassed of myself (trust me, it doesn’t even sound cute). And to be honest I’m neither an alien nor am I in Beirut, though I have been spending most of my time there since 2009 – without a valid stamp in my passport.

Four years in Lebanon

Due to factors such as raging wars in the neighboring country, as well as the general tension that leads to sporadic clashes in Lebanon every once in a while, not many people have chosen Beirut as their holiday destination for the summer of 2013. Us expats living here, or at least us that used to live there until recently, have been exposed to warnings about how “dangerous” Lebanon is for years, without having ever felt in danger ourselves.

True, things have changed since I moved here four years ago. Things felt more “innocen... [more]

By Jorgen Evil Ekvoll
Weekend roundup and road tripping with a cult leader

– crossing Norway in a car while worshipping a star

Last week Matias and Adrian, aka the Beirut HQ, decided to slap our lazy asses around and get us to produce more stories for the site. First of all I would like to use this opportunity to thank you M&A, and say that I welcome any initiative to encourage me to become more productive. It’s good for my mental health, and it enables me to share more of my brilliance with the rest of the world (you’re welcome).

In order for this to happen they set up a suggested publication regime where we chose a day a week for our “column”. Meghan O. was first out to claim Mondays, so from now on you can include 2famous.TV in your Monday beauty routines. Matias and Adrian got Tuesday and Wednesdays, while Layal book... [more]

By Jorgen Evil Ekvoll
This is my farewell

I’m out of here, but I have not resigned!

I can only imagine what the word on the street in Beirut is like now: “Did he resign?”, or “Jorgo just fucked off with no further notice!?! Why!?! But WHY!!?!!”. Those who don’t know me personally would probably say: “I don’t know what it is, but it feels like Beirut is missing an essential part”. Others that got their hands on my travel information might believe that I’m on some sort of a #whistleblowing a’la #snowden mission.

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, I can confirm that I have left the country indeed. And, yes, it’s true, just like Snowden I’m going to live at the Moscow airport for some time. But that’s not because I’m on some secret mission to save mankind from the ever growing grip of evil governments. Not that that’s not my ultimate plan initially, but I don’t think my 13 hour stopover in Moscow has anything to do with it. To... [more]

By Jorgen Evil Ekvoll
Hipster Hysteria in Beirut? Why you're all getting it wrong

– No one seems to know what they are talking about, and it’s ruining my life!

“Hipster” seems to be a new word in the vernacular of Beirut, and the local media seem desperate to jump on the bandwagon. Everyone and everything that looks a tad different is labeled “hipster”. It’s embarrassing. But what’s even more embarrassing is that they have picked me as the “poster boy” of the Beirut hipsters and started slapping that title all over me! Obviously they have no idea what’s going on, and it’s ruining my life!

Girl, you’re doing it wrong!

One of my accuser’s is the sparingly gifted Lojine Camel of Beirut.com (one of the more random websites in this city with mediocre quality content displayed in a confusing layout). I’m actually a direct victim of her dyslexia as she accused me of wea... [more]
By Jorgen Evil Ekvoll
I'm a Climate Refugee

— They used to call me “snow man”

I’m a climate refugee. I come from a country where the people identify with the North Pole. I’m not kidding. As a legit Norwegian, I can namedrop a whole list of fellow brethren that have crossed the pole in numerous ways; I simply know how it is up there. Still, I’m not so much into that shit. It’s just…too cold! That’s why I moved to the Middle East. It’s warmer here. I like that, but it comes with certain difficulties.

OK, first of all: I’m white as a sheet. I’m bald, and my pigmentation seems to cluster up in small dots scattered over my arms. Whenever I leave the house I need to bring a hat and if I don’t cover every square inch of exposed skin with SPF 50+ I will turn pink -> red -> purple (in that order), and people will go, like, “OMG! You’ve got cancer!” which is incredibly annoying.

Well, to tell the truth, even the kids in Norway used to m... [more]

By Jorgen Evil Ekvoll
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